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The Science of Happiness

Good morning, friends. In the past few weeks I have posted a few memos about happiness, for a good reason: There are many who think that their happiness in life — especially now — is determined by elements beyond their control.

This isn’t the case. An individual’s level of happiness is almost entirely up to them.

True, some factors can make happiness a bit of a challenge at times, but it’s never beyond our reach.

According to a recent CNET article, the idea that happiness is built in and can’t be changed is a misconception. It really is up to you, and your willingness to tend to five key areas:

• Build meaningful relationships with friends and family.
• Demonstrate kindness toward others.
• Show compassion for yourself and others.
• Express gratitude.
• Focus on the present moment, rather than obsessing about the past or fretting over the future.

Emiliana Simon-Thomas, who teaches a course called The Science of Happiness at UC Berkeley, says that happiness doesn’t mean you feel pure joy and cheerfulness every hour of every day.

She says, “People who pursue happiness in that sort of belief system end up being less happy than people who define happiness in a more overarching, quality-of-life way.”

Happiness means accepting negative experiences and having the skills to deal with them as you continue moving forward.

What some might call happiness, the Bible calls joy. It’s more than a good feeling caused by a good moment. It’s deep enough to endure difficult days.

It’s a choice that we make, again and again.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)

The Secret to Happiness

What is the secret to happiness?

The list of nominees is the same for almost everyone: income, health, family, success.

Results of a Harvard study, however, indicate that the answer is none of the above.

What is it, then?

Volunteering to help others. Another way to say it: Serving.

Research conducted by Dr. Eric Kim concludes that people over the age of 50 who volunteer to help others for at least 2 hours a week have a higher sense of well-being than those who don’t.

And it goes beyond a sense of well-being. Helping others is a catalyst toward other lifestyle benefits, such as lower risk of death, a lesser chance of health-related complications, and increased physical activity.

Dr. Kim says that serving others doesn’t just strengthen communities, it also “enriches our own lives by strengthening our bonds to others, helping us feel a sense of purpose and well-being, and protecting us from feelings of loneliness, depression, and hopelessness.”

Maybe this is one reason why Jesus said that it is more blessed to give than receive: Your gift of service to others come back your way, in full measure, even running over. [Acts 20:35, Luke 6:38]

In the words of King Solomon…

Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25)

Ideas Waiting to be Recognized

In last week’s memo I talked about the “gratitude ball” that Duke University used for motivation during their NCAA championship run in 2015.

The idea was implemented by head coach, Mike Krzyzewski.

It’s important to note, however, that the idea didn’t start with him. It came from the associate head coach, Jeff Capel.

Krzyzewski realized right away it would be an effective motivational strategy, so he grabbed hold of the suggestion and made the most of it.

I like everything about the way Krzyzewski handled this.

First, he fostered a leadership environment where assistants and associates felt free to share their ideas.

Second, he recognized a good idea when he heard it, and he was willing to put it to work — even though it wasn’t his idea.

Third, he made it a point to give Capel the credit he deserved.

This is how effective leaders do it.

The simple truth is, if every workable idea has to come from you and you alone, your leadership efforts will always want for workable ideas.

But if you’re willing to listen, and willing to take a risk on someone else’s suggestion, and wiling to give credit when it credit is due, the team you lead will reap the rewards.

There are brilliant ideas all around you, ready to be recognized, waiting to be acted upon. Could there be one nearby that you have overlooked?

You’re Half Way There

Today’s memo goes back a few years. I look at it each year around the end of June, and I’ve even used it as a Monday Memo a time or two.

It’s a good reminder for this year, as well.

We’ve just about reached the mid-way point in 2020. Wednesday marks a new beginning, with a half year behind us, and a half year to go.

Have you thought about what the remaining months can be?

Earl Nightingale noted that if you will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, you can become expert on that subject.

True, no doubt. But for now, forget about five years and an hour a day.

Think instead about the next six months, thirty minutes a day.

Think about the potential that exists. What kind of headway could you make in one area of your life? Maybe attaining expert status is not realistic, but serious progress is.

• You could become conversationally proficient in a second language.

• You could learn to play the guitar; in six months you can reach the level of “decent.”

• You could walk 300+ miles.

• You could get in great physical shape.

• You could do a masters-level study of your favorite subject, such as church history.

• You could dig in-depth into one of the gospels or one of Paul’s letters, until you own it.

As one called to preach the good news, can you imagine how 30 minutes a day of focused effort could make a difference in your ability to communicate? What if, every day for the next 180 days, you devoted a half-hour to working on your craft? Can you imagine how the difference would be played out in the results you see?

The next 180 days will come and go, along with this 90 hour block of time. How will you invest it?

Some will watch 90 more hours staring at their phone. Some will catch an additional 90 hours of zzzzs. Some will do whatever they feel like doing at the moment.

And you? If you’re willing to take the road less traveled, you can use these moments each day to move forward in the calling God has placed on your life.

“The hands of the diligent will rule.” (Proverbs 12:24)

A Princess in Disguise

Today’s memo is about Sarah Culberson.

Sarah was born in 1976 in West Virginia. After being placed in foster care for a year, she was adopted into a loving family — the Culbersons. Both parents were teachers. She grew up active in the United Methodist Church.

Sarah had always wondered about her heritage, so after graduating from college, she hired a private investigator to find her biological parents.

Her birth mom, she discovered, had died of cancer in the early nineties.

But it was what she learned about her birth father that changed her life forever.

As it turns out, Sarah wasn’t just a young woman from West Virginia. She was royalty. A princess.

Her father was now a ruling member of the Mende tribe in Sierra Leone. They began to correspond, and soon he invited her to Africa to meet her family.

When she arrived she received a royal welcome, with hundreds coming to greet her.

She kept asking herself: “What did I do to deserve this? I’m just Sarah from West Virginia.”

But she’s not just Sarah from West Virginia. She was born Princess Esther Elizabeth; that’s who she is. She had lived her life not knowing that she was a member of a ruling class — a princess in disguise. And then she discovered her true heritage.

Today, Sarah lives an amazing life. After pursuing a career in acting, she now works in education, she’s a public speaker, and she maintains close ties to both of her communities and both of her families. (Here is her website)

I love this story because it is — incredibly — similar to our story. We, too, have a royal heritage. We’re king’s kids, you could say.

And yet some believers remain unaware of who they really are.

The Apostle Peter said…

You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)

Today, take a moment to consider who you are in Christ, and who he has made you to be.

______________

The photograph of Princess Sarah Culberson by Elunaman is licensed under Creative Commons.

Happiness Catches On

According to a study done by Harvard University and UCSD (University of California San Diego), happiness is contagious.

The research discovered that when a person becomes happy, friends living close by have 25 percent chance of becoming happy themselves. For next-door neighbors, the percentage possibility increases to 34 percent.

Nicholas Christakis, a professor at Harvard Medical School and the author of the study, said it this way: “Everyday interactions we have with other people are definitely contagious, in terms of happiness.”

What’s more, the happiness contagion extends beyond merely the people we encounter face-to-face; it includes up to three layers (or degrees) of contact — i.e., friends of friends of friends. (link to article)

I guess one lesson we can learn from this study is that it pays to surround yourself with happy people.

Another lesson is that you have the power to spread goodwill to those beyond your immediate circle — even to those you don’t personally know.

Let’s remember Paul’s words…

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. (Philippians 4:5)

Like happiness, mercy and kindness catches on. It’s up to us to fan the flame.

More Than Conquering

Recently I was reading about the 1938-39 University of Tennessee Volunteers football team — legends in NCAA history.

In ‘38 they went 11-0, won the SEC, beat Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl, and claimed the National Championship. They didn’t merely win, they conquered.

The following year they went 10-0 in the regular season — undefeated, untied, and un-scored-upon. Not a touchdown, not a field goal, not a safety. Every game ended in a shut-out.

That’s not merely conquering. That’s more than conquering.

This is the phrase Paul used in Romans 8 to describe how we can approach life:

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)

It’s a great phrase, but the truth is that many of us don’t feel like we’re more-than-conquering anything right now. We’re more-than-overwhelmed with challenges we never saw coming — creating hardship in the present and filling the future with uncertainty.

For many, Paul’s assurance seems just beyond our grasp. But the answer is closer than it seems, and it’s closer than it often feels.

The Bible is filled with promises from a loving Father who is always near, who comforts us in our sorrow, strengthens us in our weakness, and lifts us up when we are down.

There may be battles, and more than a few close calls, but our victory is assured.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Rewriting the Story

It’s not uncommon, when an author is writing a novel, or a filmmaker is preparing a movie, that the story will change before the final product hits the streets.

Sometimes it has something to do with the characters, sometimes it has something to do with the plot, but most of the time it has something to do with the ending. The creative forces behind the story take a second look and decide: This needs a better ending.

ROCKY

Rocky was Sylvester Stallone’s first big movie. He was not only the star, he wrote the script. However, his first version of the story was quite a bit different than the one that finally made its way into the theaters.

The biggest difference was that, in the original draft, Rocky didn’t just lose the fight to Apollo Creed, he threw the fight — for money — so that he could afford to purchase a pet shop for Adrian.

Stallone eventually realized that this is not something a noble character would do — and this particular twist doesn’t inspire a sequel — so the ending was changed.

STAR WARS

The Star Wars franchise has seen several changes along the way.

For example, Luke Skywalker’s name originally was Luke Starkiller. And the name of the third installment was originally Revenge of the Jedi, not Return of the Jedi.

There were even posters printed and a trailer prepared with that title, before it was officially changed. There are still “Revenge” posters floating around out there. You can buy an original on Ebay for a few thousand dollars, or you can buy a copy of the original at Wal-Mart for about ten dollars.

The biggest change in the third installment of the series is that George Lucas intended for Han Solo to die at the end. It’s been said that he changed the outcome because he was afraid that the death of Han Solo might negatively affect merchandising.

I don’t know about that, but it is true that the way the story ended — with the big Ewok gala — was more uplifting.

THE NEED FOR A REWRITE

I’m saying that sometimes the writer’s original idea for the story and the characters and the ending is not the same as the writer’s final idea. As it goes through edit upon edit, rewrite after rewrite, the story gets better, and stronger, and more meaningful.

This is why it could be said that great stories aren’t written, they’re rewritten. It takes more than one pass at a manuscript to get it right, to make it as good as it can be.

ONE SONG SAYS IT ALL

There’s an old Southern Gospel song that I love. The title says it all: Mercy Rewrote My Life. It tells about a man whose life was moving in the wrong direction, full of sin and confusion, heartache and despair, until he discovered God’s powerful grace, and “Mercy Rewrote My Life.”

It’s a song that everyone can sing, a story that each of us can tell.

This is the message of the Christmas season. It is the message of the gospel. God sent his Son Jesus Christ into the world to change the story of humankind, to rewrite history one life at a time, through his mercy and his grace.

That’s Gratitude For You

A grandmother was watching her grandchild play on the beach when a huge wave came along and carried him out to sea.

She cried out, “Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back.”

Suddenly another big wave came along and tossed the boy back onto the beach, good as new.

The grandmother looked up to heaven and said: “He had a hat!”

That’s gratitude for you.

Have you noticed that there are some who just can’t be satisfied? There are some — and I’m talking about you and me sometimes — who have a hard time expressing gratitude.

Or even feeling it.

In 2001 Stephen Post, a medical school professor of bioethics, created a research group called the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, dedicated to testing and measuring the effects of love, gratitude, and other positive caring emotions in human life.

Dr. Post’s research has discovered that spending 15 minutes a day focused on things you’re grateful for can have the following effects on our physical health:

1. It increases your body’s natural antibodies.
2. It increases mental capacity and reduces vulnerability to depression.
3. It creates a physiological state of resonance, improving your blood pressure and heart rate.

That’s gratitude for you. It not only lifts up the recipient, it also gives life to the one expressing it.

This is why we’re told time and time again in scripture to give thanks: A thankful heart puts us in right alignment with God and one another.

Paul wrote…

And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:15-17)

There. That’s gratitude for you.

Choose Your Chair

As a teenager, Luciano Pavarotti had more than one good idea about his future, and more than one option to pursue.

He loved sports, and dreamed of being a football goalkeeper (what others would call a soccer goalie).

He loved teaching, and was attracted to the security this profession offered.

And, of course, he loved to sing.

When an elite professional tenor offered to take him as a student without cost, Pavarotti faced a decision: Which future should he choose?

His father said to him, “Luciano, if you try to sit on two chairs, you will fall between them. For life, you must choose one chair.”

Pavarotti later told Guideposts: “I chose one. It took seven years of study and frustration before I made my first professional appearance. It took another seven to reach the Metropolitan Opera. And now I think whether it’s laying bricks, writing a book — whatever we choose — we should give ourselves to it. Commitment, that’s the key. Choose one chair.”

Of all the words written by the Apostle Paul, perhaps his most powerful phrase is: “But this one thing I do.”

Everything about Paul’s life pointed in one direction. Everything he did led him to one chair. His prize was doing what God had called him to do — to know Jesus and to make Jesus known.

Life is a reverse of the game Musical Chairs, in which there are more players than places to sit. You have lots of chairs to choose from. Those who live life best are those who have the courage to choose one chair.

Have you chosen yours?

Who Needs a Team?

On May 26, 1959, Pittsburgh Pirate pitcher Harvey Haddix accomplished something no one else in baseball has accomplished. He pitched 12 perfect innings in a game against the Milwaukee Braves.

It was enough to set a record, but it wasn’t enough to get a win.

The score was tied at zero in the bottom of the 13th when the Braves’ lead off hitter reached first on an error. Two batters later, Joe Adcock knocked in the winning run.

The Braves took the game, 1-0. And Haddix took the loss. The Pirates had men on base all afternoon — more than a dozen altogether — but they couldn’t manage to get anyone across home plate.

And so, with no help from the offense, Haddix’s brilliant record-setting performance wound up in the “L” side of the ledger.

Nothing Takes the Place of Teamwork

Today many leaders are convinced if they themselves can maintain a certain level of brilliance, it will be enough to guarantee the success they’re looking for.

While brilliance won’t exactly work against you, it will never take the place of teamwork. You’re not enough by yourself.

Whatever it is you’re trying to do, you can’t do it alone. You need a team — a team of team players.

Solomon wrote…

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up… Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:10, 12)

I encourage you to remind those on your team today that you’re committed to doing your part, that you’ve got their back, and you’re thankful that they’ve got yours.

Your Most Important Decisions

The most important decisions you make are the decisions you make every day. Much more so than the one-time decisions — even the big ones.

For example, getting married is a major one-time decision. And the decision you make today to love your wife today as Christ loved the church is in many ways more important.

Choosing a career path or taking a job is a major one-time decision. And the decision you make today to do your work as unto the Lord today is more important still.

Giving your life to Christ is the greatest one-time decision you’ll ever make. Yet even greater is the decision you make today to follow him today.

How many times do we decide each day?

According to the numbers I’ve seen, somewhere between 5000 and 35000. (A Cornell study says we make more than 200 daily decisions about food alone.)

Most decisions are made on auto-pilot. The best ones, however, need to be made intentionally, because our daily decisions give those big-time one-time decisions the meaning they deserve.

Or they take away their meaning all together.

Today you will decide — thousands and thousands and thousands of times — what to do with your time, what to eat, what to read, what to buy, what to wear, what to talk about, what to think about, and then what to give a second thought about.

Today you’ll also decide how you’ll speak to the ones you love, how you’ll do your job, how you’ll live out purpose — and many other things that will matter forever.

Before you let habit kick in, give yourself a second to think about what this decision means and where it will take you.

I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live. (Deuteronomy 30:19)