Category: Leadership

According to a study done by Harvard University and UCSD (University of California San Diego), happiness is contagious.

The research discovered that when a person becomes happy, friends living close by have 25 percent chance of becoming happy themselves. For next-door neighbors, the percentage possibility increases to 34 percent.

Nicholas Christakis, a professor at Harvard Medical School and the author of the study, said it this way: “Everyday interactions we have with other people are definitely contagious, in terms of happiness.”

What’s more, the happiness contagion extends beyond merely the people we encounter face-to-face; it includes up to three layers (or degrees) of contact — i.e., friends of friends of friends. (link to article)

I guess one lesson we can learn from this study is that it pays to surround yourself with happy people.

Another lesson is that you have the power to spread goodwill to those beyond your immediate circle — even to those you don’t personally know.

Let’s remember Paul’s words…

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. (Philippians 4:5)

Like happiness, mercy and kindness catches on. It’s up to us to fan the flame.

The most important decisions you make are the decisions you make every day. Much more so than the one-time decisions — even the big ones.

For example, getting married is a major one-time decision. And the decision you make today to love your wife today as Christ loved the church is in many ways more important.

Choosing a career path or taking a job is a major one-time decision. And the decision you make today to do your work as unto the Lord today is more important still.

Giving your life to Christ is the greatest one-time decision you’ll ever make. Yet even greater is the decision you make today to follow him today.

How many times do we decide each day? 

According to the numbers I’ve seen, somewhere between 5000 and 35000. (A Cornell study says we make more than 200 daily decisions about food alone.)

Most decisions are made on auto-pilot. The best ones, however, need to be made intentionally, because our daily decisions give those big-time one-time decisions the meaning they deserve.

Or they take away their meaning all together.

Today you will decide — thousands and thousands and thousands of times — what to do with your time, what to eat, what to read, what to buy, what to wear, what to talk about, what to think about, and then what to give a second thought about.

Today you’ll also decide how you’ll speak to the ones you love, how you’ll do your job, how you’ll live out purpose — and many other things that will matter forever.

Before you let habit kick in, give yourself a second to think about what this decision means and where it will take you.

I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Have you ever noticed how other people’s lives seem so easy to figure out? Their problems are so well defined, the solutions so clear-cut — unlike your own problems, which are complicated and nuanced.

This is certainly the case with me sometimes.

One frustrating aspect about giving advice is summed up in the old saying, “Advice is least heeded when most needed.”

In fact, in a letter Lord Chesterton wrote to his son in 1770, he said, “I wish to God that you had as much pleasure in following my advice, as I have in giving it to you.”

See, parents? Not much has changed in the last couple of centuries.

ADVICE-GIVING GUIDELINES

During those times when others do turn to you for advice, here are six guidelines to go by.

1. Wait till you’re asked.

It’s tempting to jump in and tell others exactly what they need to do to get their lives straightened out — after all, their problems are begging for your expert touch. However, unasked-for advice is really thinly-veiled criticism. It usually goes ignored.

George Washington wrote, “Give not advice without being asked, and [then], do it briefly.”

2. Speak from experience.

One evening during dinner with friends, a member of our group began telling another how she could improve some aspects of her web consulting and design business.

Her business did, in fact, need improvement, but with all due respect to the volunteer advisor, though his words may have been well-intentioned, he didn’t really know what he was talking about. He had never been in business for himself, had never been a consultant, and knew nothing about design. Other than that, he was an expert.

The truth is, if you haven’t been there, you’re not in a position to tell someone else how to get there.

3. Attack the problem, not the person.

“You’re lazy, disorganized and inefficient,” isn’t good advice. It’s not even advice. It’s merely an observation, and probably not an accurate one.

Understand that when a person seeks advice, he or she has made an important (and laudable) step in the right direction. Make sure, then, that your counsel focuses on pointing out the possible solution, rather than dwelling on the other person’s faults and foibles.

4. Focus on what needs to be done, which actions need to be taken.

People need to know today what they can do today to start solving the problem today. Telling someone what they could have done yesterday or what they should have been doing all along is only telling them what they already know.

It’s easy to point out the obvious; identifying workable solutions requires wisdom.

5. Don’t hesitate to tell the truth.

When someone comes to you for advice, they need to hear the truth.

This part of the process is often difficult, and it should be. If it hurts them to hear it, it should hurt you to say it. But you do need to say it — for their own good.

It’s like the time Eli went to Samuel, asking him about the vision God had given him. The Bible says that Samuel was afraid to tell Eli, but Eli insisted, “Tell me everything.”  1 Samuel 3:18 says, “So Samuel told Eli everything, he didn’t hold anything back.” [NLT]

Those who come to you for counsel deserve the same. Tell them the truth. But be sure you’re telling them the empowering, solution-focused truth.

6. The rest is up to them.

If they have done their job, you are only one of many from whom they sought advice, because “many advisers make victory sure.” (Proverbs 11:14 NIV)

Maybe they’ll follow your advice, maybe they’ll choose to act on the advice of someone else.

You cannot take responsibility for their problems, or their actions, but you can offer your best wisdom on what actions they should take. That’s as much as you can do, and it’s all you need to do.

OUR SOLEMN OBLIGATION

The ability to give good advice is as valuable as it is rare. That’s why consultants — the good ones, the ones who get results — are well paid. Giving good advice is not as easy as it looks.

Remember the words of Solomon: The godly give good advice. (Proverbs 10:21 NLT)

When someone asks for your input, they have paid you an enormous compliment. It is our solemn obligation to approach the task seriously, thoughtfully, carefully and prayerfully.

Researchers at San Diego State University looked at whether a simple sign could persuade people to better choices.

For 10 non-consecutive days they posted a sign in front of an airport escalator encouraging travelers to take the stairs instead. Some examples:

• Please reserve the escalator for those who need it.

• Don’t lose time, lose weight. Use the stairs.

• If you want to feel younger, act younger. Step it up! Use the stairs.

The result? On days when the sign was present, twice as many people took the stairs.

Significantly, the prompts appeared to work for all types: those who exercise frequently and those who never exercise were both persuaded to take the stairs this time — because of the sign.

Sometimes all you need is a little nudge. Maybe a note strategically placed near the refrigerator, near the door, near your computer, near your sofa, near your Bible is all you need to make the next good decision. Who knows? It could work.

Those close to you could sometimes use a nudge, too. (A nudge, not a nag.) Most people know what they need to do — and they really want to do it — but apparently it helps to be reminded.

Let’s see if we can make it habit to remind ourselves and gently remind one another.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

In his sermon “Better Odds” Andy Stanley makes a great statement. He’s talking about waiting on God, and he says something along these lines:

We look at the clock; God looks at the calendar.

One of the most difficult lessons for believers to learn is to wait on God. By nature we’re not patient, and our culture offers little encouragement to develop the habit. We want, we need, we think we deserve everything now.

Remember that Sarah waited until she was old for the son she had always dreamed about; Moses waited for 40 years on the backside of the desert for God’s call; Joseph languished in prison for 15 years before God vindicated him.

Even Paul spent 17 years in preparation before he began the ministry that God called him to on the road to Damascus.

But you can be sure that each of these saints would say it was worth the wait. It always is.

There are, no doubt, a number of things that you are waiting for, too: victory, healing, peace, growth, reconciliation, success.

Today I encourage you to remember one thing: God is on his way.

Sometimes the night seems to last forever. Sometimes his silence seems permanent. That’s because we look at the clock while he looks at the calendar.

Solomon wrote…

God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

We cannot see the whole scope of God’s work, but the scope exists. And we may not see the big picture, but there is one currently in development.

Today might be just another day of waiting for you, but here’s how you can make it better: Take your eyes off the clock and turn them toward Jesus. Spend this time in his presence, waiting in expectation rather than desperation.

God is at work in your work in life, making all things beautiful in their time.

On May 26, 1959, Pittsburgh Pirate pitcher Harvey Haddix accomplished something no one else in baseball has accomplished: He pitched 12 perfect innings in a game against the Milwaukee Braves.

It was enough to set a record, but it wasn’t enough to get a win.

The score was tied at zero in the bottom of the 13th when the Braves’ lead-off hitter reached first on an error. Two batters later, Joe Adcock knocked in the winning run.

The Braves took the game, 1-0. And Haddix took the loss.

The Pirates had men on base all afternoon — more than a dozen altogether — but they couldn’t manage to get anyone across home plate. And so, with no help from the offense, Haddix’s brilliant record-setting performance wound up on the LOSS side of the ledger.

Today many leaders are convinced if they themselves can maintain a certain level of brilliance, it will be enough to guarantee the success they’re looking for. While brilliance will certainly never work against you, neither can it take the place of teamwork.

You’re not enough by yourself. Whatever it is you’re hoping to accomplish, you can’t do it alone. You need a team.

Solomon wrote…

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up… Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:10, 12)

I encourage you today to remind those on your team that you’re committed to doing your part, that you’ve got their back, and you’re thankful that they’ve got yours.