Steve May, Author at Steve May

How Worry Affects Leadership

Connie Mack will always be remembered as one of the greatest personalities in baseball.

After coaching the Philadelphia A’s for 50 years, he retired in 1950 at the age of 87 as the winningest manager in history.

Books could be written, and probably have been, on the management techniques of Connie Mack. Leaders have a lot to learn from his example.

One management technique: he refused to worry.

Early in his career, when he realized how worry was threatening to destroy his ability to lead — especially worries over past defeats — he forced himself to get so busy preparing to win today’s game that he didn’t have time to worry about yesterday’s losses.

He summed up it by saying, “You can’t grind grain with water that has already gone down the creek.” This colloquialism may be lost on many of us, but it’s Mack’s way of saying what St. Paul said …

But I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:13-14)

This works.

The act of preparing today keeps your mind off yesterday’s regrets and away from tomorrow’s uncertainties.

So give your attention to what is really pressing this day … and press on.

The Ability to Bounce Back

I received a brochure some time ago from a company specializing in resilient furniture: simple, sturdy, water resistant tables and chairs. Not fancy in any way, but built to last.

They’re not cheap either; a plain white folding chair is about $90.

They’re not nearly as pretty as the leatherette office chairs I buy at the discount store for much less money — but those chairs, as I am reminded every time I have to replace one, don’t have a long life-span.

There’s something to be said for basic, unadorned resiliency: the ability to get through, get over, and get past life’s many trials and tribulations. In this sense, sturdy beats stylish every time.

A popular magazine did a cover story several years ago on the subject of resiliency, asking the question, “Why do some people bounce and others break?” The article noted how some who experience trauma withdraw into a shell, while others facing the same crisis not only bounce back, but bounce back stronger than ever before. It talked about how resiliency is being studied in universities and taught in corporate seminars.

Resiliency, the article said, could become the most important skill of the 21st century.

Why do some people break down while others bounce back? Unlike furniture, I don’t think it has to do with our design. A chair can only be as strong as it was made to be. It can’t decide to grow stronger; neither can it decide to give up.

We, on the other hand, have access to support beyond ourselves. The flaws in our design (so to speak) can be overcome. For example, a person who is, by nature, prone to be discouraged and give up too soon doesn’t have to stay that way.

There’s a verse in Philippians that is so often quoted its meaning is sometimes overlooked. Paul is talking about being able to face hard times as well as good times, and he states confidently, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Resilience — the ability to bounce back — often comes down to a single decision: from whose strength will I draw: my own, or God’s? The promise of Scripture is that if you will look to God for strength, he will give it to you.

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post.

Finding Rest

Author and journalist Iving Kristol said, “Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters of life begin when you get what you want.”

This is because what we want — or what we think we want — is so often not what we really need in order to live a fulfilled, meaningful life.

There comes a time when we realize that the trinket we worked so hard to acquire, or even the goal we sacrificed so much to reach, doesn’t bring the satisfaction we expected it would. We then find ourselves asking, as so many have, “Is that all there is? Is this as good as it gets?”

Goals will always have a place in our lives, and accumulating possessions will always be part of the human experience, but we do ourselves a disservice when we fail to understand that these things will never be enough.

On the other hand, we serve ourselves best when we learn to say, as Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless, until they rest in thee.”

Where are you seeking your rest today? In a paycheck? In a relationship? In a status symbol? In a measure of success? These things may not be the enemy — they’re not bad in and of themselves — but it’s important that we understand that they’re not the finish line, either.

If your heart is restless today, take a moment to re-evaluate what you really want. Strive to say, as David said, “My soul finds rest in God alone.” (Psalm 62:1)

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post.

Are You Willing to Play Second Chair?

“There are plenty of people who want to be first violinists, but to find someone willing to play second chair, in any section of the orchestra, is a problem. But without a second, there is no harmony.” — Leonard Bernstein

Leaders, quite naturally, feel most comfortable leading. It’s where we’re gifted. There’s a certain fulfillment that comes with taking charge of a project, developing a strategy, putting a team together, and seeing it through to completion.

A problem that many organizations face, however, comes when you have to deal with those special few leaders who can’t — or won’t — do anything but lead. As in: If I’m not in charge, I’m not there.

The best leaders understand and embrace the idea that sometimes your contribution to a project is not to call the plays, but to help the play-caller execute the plan.

Or, as Mr. Bernstein might say, there are times when — no matter how gifted a leader you may be — it’s your job to play second chair and add a little harmony to the outcome.

When you find yourself involved in work in which first chair is already in place, don’t quit the band, don’t stage a coup, don’t pack your bags and go home.

Instead, seize the opportunity to be the kind of second chair you wish you had in every project you lead.

You’ll be amazed at what you can learn about playing melody when you choose to play harmony once in a while.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men. (Colossians 3:23)

Slow Down. Listen More.

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” — Bernard Baruch

Baruch’s words bring to mind a verse from the book of James:

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry… (James 1:19)

Can you imagine what might happen if today — for at least one day — we determined to talk less and listen more?

By the way, something I’ve noticed about James’ exhortation: When I listen more than I talk, the “slow to become angry” part is much easier to manage.

Today’s Most Important Decision

Marcus Aurelius said, “The most important things in life are the thoughts you to choose to think.” If this is true, then today’s most important decision will be what to think about.

You can think thoughts of faith or thoughts of doubt, thoughts of hope or thoughts of despair, thoughts of love or thoughts of hate. These thoughts will find their way into your words and your actions as the day wears on.

“Thoughts should be tested before they’re transmitted,” said William Arthur Ward. “If our thoughts taste unkind, critical or unfair, we should refuse to release them into the dangerous world of words.”

Every temptation begins with a thought. So does every act of goodness. That’s why Paul said…

Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:2)

Today, let thoughts of faith, hope and love fill your mind.

• Decide to believe the best about the future God has planned for you. That’s faith.

• Decide to expect the best in each situation, because God is at work in the details. That’s hope.

• Decide to give the best to those around you, because this is what he has called you to. That’s love.

Your life will move in the direction that your thoughts take it.

Today’s most important decision, then, is to allow yourself to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Called To Be a Craftsman

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their need… (Ephesians 4:29)

The Greek word translated building up means, in its most literal context, to construct a house, or repair a house, or remodel, renovate, and restore a house.

Paul is saying, then, that in every conversation we should strive to say only that which will build and repair — only that which will make the other person stronger and the situation better.

My Job in De-Construction.

Years ago I took part in a ministry project that involved the renovation of an old house.

Actually, my role wasn’t in the renovation side of things. I was in the group that went in with sledge hammers. It was our job to tear down walls and bust out floors. A lot of fun, I must admit.

When we were finished, the place was a shambles — because that’s what sledgehammers tend to leave behind.

Then came the guys who really know something about construction to begin making the place look new.

When their work was done, it was a marvel to behold.

Of course, I never kidded myself into thinking that I really had anything to do with the end result. I was just a lug with a sledgehammer — the extent of my construction skills.

It was the craftsmen who turned the shambles into a showplace.

Here’s my point.

There are many who think it’s their job, in conversation, to be the sledgehammer. They imagine themselves to be foreman on God’s verbal demolition crew.

But that’s not who you’re called to be.

Your job, rather, is to be a craftsman: to rebuild and renovate with the words you speak.

Solomon said…

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise bring healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

It takes no skill at all to swing a sledge hammer. Neither to tear people apart with your words. They’re both about the same.

But a craftsman knows how to build. And rebuild. And renovate and restore.

That’s our job.

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post.

The Rule of Five

When Jack Canfield was trying to get Chicken Soup for the Soul off the ground, he asked a number of best-selling authors and publishing experts how he should go about it.

He received more advice than he could possibly act on, and soon found himself so overwhelmed him with options that he had no idea where to start.

Then a friend named Ron Scolastico said, “If you would go to a very large tree and take five swings at it with a very sharp ax, eventually, no matter how large the tree, it would have to come down.”

Out of this advice Canfield developed what he called The Rule of Five. Every day he would do 5 specific things that moved him toward the goal of getting Chicken Soup on the best seller list. It might be 5 radio interviews, or sending 5 books to reviewers, or calling 5 bookstores, and so on.

Eventually the ax felled the tree; two years after the book came out, it made the New York Times list, where it stayed for many months.

Where can you apply the Rule of Five in your life?

Can you make a 5 minute call of encouragement to one of your friends each day? Or send 5 Thank-You emails each morning? Or read 5 pages of a book? Or review 5 memory verses?

As you survey the areas of your life and ministry that present the greatest opportunities for growth, think about how Canfield’s Rule of Five can work in your favor. How can you take 5 strong swings at the tree day after day?

Solomon said, “He who works his land will have abundant food.” (Proverbs 12:11)

The Rule of Five is a great way to start working your land.

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post.

On the Horizon

Robert Louis Stevenson spent much of his life struggling with serious health issues. In spite of this, he remained eternally optimistic.

One day, when his fever was running high and he couldn’t control his coughing attacks, his wife said, somewhat cynically, “I suppose you still believe it’s a wonderful day.”

Stevenson replied, “Yes, I do. I will never permit a row of medicine bottles to block my horizon.”

Are there rows of problems and and rows of fears attempting to block your horizon today? Can you look past them and see the goodness of God?

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever. (Psalm 52:8)

Taking Care of the Big Stuff

Stephen Covey tells a great story that demonstrates the importance of keeping priorities straight. He saw it at a seminar:

The leader showed the audience an empty wide-mouthed gallon jar, then put as many rocks in the jar as would fit.

He asked the crowd, “Is this container full?”

Of course, everyone said, “Yes.”

The leader smiled, then poured some gravel into the jar, filling the crevices between the rocks. He asked again, “Is it full?”

The crowd was beginning to catch on; most of them said, “Probably not.”

Next he poured some sand it into the jar. “Now is it full?” he asked.

They had learned the lesson. In unison they shouted, “No!” And they were right; he then filled the jar with water.

Afterwards the seminar leader asked, “What’s the point here?”

Someone said, “Well, there are gaps, and if you really work at it, you can always fit more in your life.”

The seminar leader said, “That’s not the point! The point is this: If you hadn’t put these big rocks in first, you never would have gotten them in!”

He’s saying: Make sure you do the big stuff first.

It’s a habit we all need to develop. We’re tempted to tend to the nagging little details first, hoping to get them out of the way so we can focus on job one. The problem, however, is that the nagging little details never completely go away. They keep coming back, and there’s always a couple more on the way.

It’s best to learn to ignore them (for now) and direct your attention to that which really matters.

So, what really matters? This is something we each must define individually. But here’s a clue. Jesus said that the list begins with your relationship to God and his purpose for your life.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

We often spend our days seeking sand and gravel and water, but they’re just filler. The big stuff needs to be done first.

Think about it. What’s your top priority? How will you tend to it today?

Today’s memo first published at Preaching Library.

Blest Be the Tie

Centuries ago, John Fawcett was the pastor of a small, struggling church in Wainsgate, England. Since he was a talented and dynamic preacher, he soon received an offer to be the pastor of a large, affluent church in London.

It was a great opportunity, but it presented a problem: He dearly loved the congregation in Wainsgate, and it was killing him to leave.

After he and his wife had packed away all their belongings, members of the church came to see them off. During their good-byes, Mary Fawcett said to her husband, “John, I cannot bear to leave!”

He thought for a moment and said, “Neither can I. And so we won’t. This is our home and these are our people and here is where we’ll stay.”

John Fawcett spent his entire fifty-four-year ministry serving this one church.

Shortly after making this decision to stay, he wrote these words…

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

That’s the verse everyone knows. Here’s one of the other verses.

We share each other’s woes
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
T he sympathizing tear.

There’s a reason why old-fashioned things like Sunday School classes and Home Bible Studies are still such a great idea. It’s not just about what we learn from the lesson. It’s about what we experience in community with others.

It’s much more than just an advertising slogan: Life is better when we’re connected.

They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. (Acts 2:46-47)

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post. It is taken from Steve’s series Psalms, Hymns & Spiritual Songs.

Let the Weak Say

The average person talks to themselves thousands of times a day. According to one study, our self-talk clocks in at about 4000 words per minute.

For many, much of what they hear from themselves is negative: “Why can’t you do anything right? You’ll never succeed. You’ll never change. You don’t have a chance.”

These words reinforce what we believe about ourselves, and they influence the actions we take.

We find it far too easy to believe in the power of our weakness, and far too difficult to believe in the power of the God who promises to transform us into his likeness.

God spoke through Joel this simple phrase: “Let the weak say ‘I am strong.'” (Joel 3:10) He was referring to the day of battle, guaranteeing for his people a victory.

Every day is the day of battle for followers of Christ. We come face-to-face with temptation, discouragement, apathy, and failure — day in, day out. And in the midst of battle, God reminds us that victory is ours.

Therefore, let the weak say I am strong — for, just as David proclaimed when facing Goliath, “The battle is the Lord’s.” And he has promised us victory.

Today’s memo was updated from a previous post.